Being Kind to your Parents

[Sayfullah]

Being Kind to your Parents
Treat your parents well and your children will treat you well

Bahz Ibn Hakim narrates from his father, from his grandfather, may Allah accept their deeds, that he said: I said, "O Messenger of Allah, whom should I treat best?" He said, "Your mother." I said, "Then whom?" He said, "Your mother." I said, "Then whom?" He said, "Your mother." Then I said, "Then whom?' He said, 'Your father, then whoever is closest in lineage, and then whoever is closest after that'."

It is understood from this hadith that the mother is given priority over the father in receiving good treatment. And so, if the mother seeks something from the child and the father seeks what opposes that, and if he obeys one of them then the other becomes angry, the mother is given priority over the father.

The reason why the Messenger of Allah gave priority to the mother; mentioned the mother thrice and the father only once, is because of the mother's great care, her compassion given to the child, as well as the hardship that she bears while pregnant, the labor pains that she faces, her giving birth, breast feeding, and even staying up at night. ^Abdullah Ibn ^Umar, may Allah accept his and his father's deeds, saw a man carrying his mother on his back while making tawaf around the Ka^bah. The man said, "O Ibn ^Umar, do you think I have paid her back what she deserves?" He said, "You did not even pay her back for one labor pain, however you have done something good, and for a little bit of goodness, Allah will give you a lot of reward."

As for the hadith:
((الجنّةُ تحت أقْدام الأمّهات))
"Paradise is under the feet of the mothers",
this hadith is weak . What it means is that Paradise is reached by treating the mothers well.

It is confirmed from the Messenger of Allah that he said:
((ثَلاثَةٌ لا يَدخُلون الجَنّة: العَاقُّ لِوَالِدَيه والدَّيُّوث ورَجُلَةُ النِّسَاء))
"Three do not enter Paradise (with the first batches) the one who mistreats his parents, the one who allows his family to fornicate, and the women who imitate the men."

Ibn Hibban narrated it, and it means that those three types of people, if they do not repent, do not enter Paradise with the first batches.

Al-Hakim narrated with an authentic chain of narration that the Prophet said:
((كلُّ الذُّنوب يؤخّرُ الله منها ما شاءَ إلى يومِ القيامة إلا عقوقَ الوالِدَين فإنّه يُعَجَّل لصاحِبه))
"All of the sins, Allah delays the punishment of whatever He willed of them until Judgement Day, except for mistreating the parents, for this one is brought forward (to the present life) for the one who commits it."
It was said that in Tripoli of Ash-Sham, a man kicked his mother and then he was inflicted with elephantitis in his foot; his foot swelled up like an elephant, it split, and a horrible smell came out of it.

The Messenger of Allah said:
((ثلاثُ دعواتٍ مُسْتَجاباتٌ لا شكَّ فيهنّ دعوةُ المظلوم ودَعوةُ المسافر ودعوةُ الوالِد على ولَدِه))
"Three supplications are undoubtedly answered: the supplication of the mistreated person, the supplication of the traveller, and the supplication of the parent against the child."

At-Tirmidhiyy, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad narrated that. This refers to the parent making supplication against the child rightfully. However, in case he made supplication against him unrightfully, it will not harm him.

Whoever wants the success and the victory then let him treat his parents well, for the one who has treated his parents well will have a praiseworthy outcome. Treating the parents well is a blessing in this life and in the next life. It was narrated in the authentic hadith:
((بَرُّوا ءاباءَكُم يبرُّكّم أبناؤكم))
"Treat your parents well and your children will treat you well."
At-Tabaraniyy narrated that in the medium Mu^jam, and Allah Knows best.